


eyes of a doll

by xehzee



Series: empty words [5]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mild Language, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-22 15:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14311431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xehzee/pseuds/xehzee
Summary: The re-tell of a story, from a different perspective.





	eyes of a doll

**Author's Note:**

> docs decided to not save my work and my memory is short. Or, that was not the ending I first had in mind.  
> I apologize for any and all grammatical errors.  
> Thanks for reading.

This room is cold. This room is dark. And to top it off, it smells bad.

Me and the others have been  _ stored _ here since I remember. I already thought it was pretty awful back in the day, recently that feeling has intensified.

Tedious.

Bothersome.

The lone purpose of me and my brethren is to be played with. It never crossed my mind that it’d be this way.

I stare ahead and wait for something.

Anything.

But as usual, nothing happens. Absolutely nothing.

Until that day.

The rasp sound of screeching metal ring in my ears. Or whatever this could be called. It’s not that I’m even alive.

It’s slow at the beginning but increases over time. So, so painfully slowly.

Here, in this awkward stance, I wait.

And yet, nothing really happens.

There’s the sound again. More screeching, tearing my senses apart.

“Stop it.” I say knowing full well my voice isn’t heard.

The others follow along, asking,  _ pleading, _ for the noise to stop. And it does.

For some blessed minutes, the silence comes back, deafening the surroundings once more.

“Ah” I began, interrupted only by my sister’s around me.

“Stop it, stop it, s topi t t t t t.”

_ What are you saying? There’s nothing more, shut up alrea- _

And then, everyone scream, so loud, so piercing…

I scream too.

It’s blinding. It’s so bright, it’s blinding. What’s this? It’s…

Ah. Yes, I think I remember.

Probably. This is light.

When? When was the last time that we…?

The screeching distracts me of my thoughts. It’s louder now, almost as if it was approaching.

A menace? But, whatever business will anyone have with us, ragged, disposable toys?

I brace myself, waiting for the one who will see us in this deplorable state and abandon us…again.

It halts midway. 

What’s the problem with this one? Is  _ he _ scared? Is he  _ afraid _ of this place? Of the suffocating dampness and the cobwebs hanging? Of the putrid smell and the teared clothes? Of the aura of misery? Or of being abandoned?

I am only speaking of what I know. Never have I meditated about this. Time didn’t exist in all those years.

Once again, I hear it, now clearly. Those are gears. And something resembling a joint. Perhaps some…what are they called? Springs?

I understand in that very moment. It’s another one like us.

Behind the rusted metals serving as a wall, a figure appears.

It’s just as rusted as the walls, if not more. Its movements are erratic, and overall it looks in horrible shape. Must need maintenance or something.

Its head is completely round, it’s funny. Not in the good kind. Its eyes are round as well, and they…glow. A strange green, they glow.

The rest of its body…it’s not any better. It doesn’t have hands, so it’s not a costume. And it looks so heavy as well.

Another step inside and…it stops.  _ Again.  _ What is its problem anyway? Not only it’s old looking and tattered, its movements are worse than erratic, they’re unsynchronized and, dare I say it, ugly.

Just looking at it, it’s making me sick. If I could get sick, that is.

I lose interest and let my mind wander.

Because, even if I want to, I can’t take my eyes off of that abomination.

Sadly, that routine of moving and stoping continues…for a long time.

I expect to see the sun going down.

It never happens.

The  _ thing _ finally halts, and then, falls, with a thump, to the ground.

_ I knew it. Just another piece of trash. _

 

For days and days, the  _ thing _ remains…remain.

It’s not like anyone is cleaning, right?

So bothersome.

I’d rather have my blindness back…

 

More and more days…I think. Because for as long as I stare outside, waiting for the night to come, for the stars to glow, for the moon to cover the sky, this, them…never show up.

Oh how I missed them…

… …

Anyway.

 

Getting lost in  _ thought  _ is surprisingly easy. For a moment, all I could see was black, for a blessed moment, everything, including the ugly sight and the sound of the wind, disappeared.

The next thing I knew, the lack of sensation was gone.

_ Great. _

The engines turned, and the  _ thing _ was alive again.

Only this time its movements aren’t as slow. That is just  _ great. _

It starts with its eyes, shining green. It blinks over and over, as if something could ever get in and bother its field of vision. It’s an illusion you dumbass. We get them every time, that just how it is for us.

Then, its extremities. Too large and heavy, why does it even bother? Oh, but it does moves them. Amazing. Who design it? Even if it seems ugly and useless…

Last, it gets up. And stares. And stares.

“' the hell is your problem, creep? Go away.” I say in my head, knowing no one would listen.

“GO AWAY, GO A WWWW AY, G O AAAAA A A WW A YYYYYYY Y Y Y, AAAAAAA WWWAY.”

My sisters scream.

Unhelpful.

As expected.

Then the thing approaches one of us.

“Don’t you dare touch her with those filthy hands!” I yell.

Unhelpful.

As my sisters' screaming.

Given its bad design and the seemingly brute force it might encompass it, I hope for the worst and not.

Should I be worried about losing one of my sisters?

She’s gonna break, there’s no doubt in that.

But…

Do I have…?

Oh.

That was…

Not even our former master showed us such…gentleness. It lifted her so carefully, I…

…don’t know what to think.

 

It took a while, but after recovering of yet another breakdown, the thing kept on its personal mission of lifting us and, how embarrassing, sitting us on a makeshift shelf.

How long is this gonna last?

Doesn't that thing has better use of its time?

Heh, probably not. I'd have dispose of it were I owned it. So useless, so pitiful.

I hate it.

When will my turn come?

 

An arrangement of dolls, how pretty. Looking at some of my sisters, I can tell they're in good shape. The dresses might have been dirty for years, but there's a fanciness behind all that dirt. 

Of course, we were all fabricated to be beautiful.

Soft silk. The fairer porcelain. Real hair, each strand put on manually. And surely expensive enough so as to not just anyone would own us.

…

What was our purpose, then?

Not even toys to be played with. Mere pathetic trophies.

I let wrath fill my small body. Even now nothing has changed. The  _ thing  _ is going to exhibit us as antiques of yore.

Disgusting.

 

It finishes whatever it's thinking. And leaves. Where to? I wish I knew. Although there's no point to that, is it?

With a heavy heart, I notice some of us are irreparable. Broken beyond salvation.

I envy them.

They're free. Or so I wish to think.

On this burning sun, we remain. Alone. Waiting for someone to come. Once more.

 

It's back! And it's alone! 

…

Why do I feel excited? Nevermind. 

After a cruel week, maybe more, maybe less,  _ it  _ is back. Slowly, as ever. The worst never happened but I'm wary. 

_ They _ , whatever they are, can still come, at any moment, they… 

Huh? What is that on its hand?

A flower? Never seen one like that before.

It's white and beautiful, and…

Hm. So annoying. I wonder what an ugly-ass shit like  _ it _ will do with that beauty.

Oh? You're offering it to _ me _ ?!

Do you have any idea what–?

And it's gone. Well, at least the sight has gotten better. I wonder, how long will you last beautiful?

 

The days go by. The  _ thing _ come and go, stopping every so often, frozen in weird angles, turning off completely only to resurrect some time later.

I… I have gotten used to it.

The days  _ it _ is gone I stare at the path where it disappears. The days  _ it _ is here, I talk to it. Mundane words, some times yelling, some times I command it to do stuff, as if it could listen to me.

It's fun. I like this. I  _ prefer _ this, it doesn't feel as empty as staring at an invisible wall.

And my sisters enjoy it too. Some more than others. We're picky like that.

With only it taking care of us, without the onlookers watching our every move, without they expecting us to be just gorgeous and still, with the dirt on our faces and the warmth of the sun…

I do like it this way. 

 

I remember the flower. It's the color of the moon. I missed the moon. But now I don't. Because I see it every day.

 

It leaves again. I don't worry, I know it will come back.

It brings more flowers every lap.

Some are tiny, as if they're not being feed properly.

“Sun?”

“You should come live with us. There's plenty over here.”

“Water?”

“A brook lies over there. Well, I  _ can't _ point it out, but I've heard it before, I know it's there.”

“Dirt?”

“We're all covered in it. You can be, too!”

“Love?”

I don't answer right away. Such a word, I haven't heard it in so long…

I lie to the next flower.

“Yes, love. There's so much around us. Look at us. Aren't we all loved? Isn't that the reason we are alive?”

I smile. The flower smiles. My sisters, the sun, everything around us smile, while it keeps on its futile quest.

 

I lied.

 

What's this...this pain?

Why must you do this? My sisters, they…

Why?

They can't move by their own! They can't escape, have merc–

No...why? Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop  _ STOP _ !

WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN?! THEY'RE SUFFERING! THEY'RE HELPLESS! STOP IT! S-stop it…

It. I see it. It saw us.

“Don't look,” I scream, “don't look at us! We're ugly now. We're broken. We're useless.”

It's over. Our worthlessness is out.

We're being abandoned again.

Just go. Leave us to die.

 

Broken. Burnt. Shattered.

Even with this form, it stayed.

And he fought. 

For us? I can't be sure. I will never know.

 

Sitting face to face, I am a mirror, reflecting the lifeless form of the one before me.

The light in its eyes is gone.

The erratic movements too.

I want to say I'm happy.

My sisters, they have found peace in nothingness.

That is what I want to think.

This tattered thing too. This  _ machine _ .

I'll stay here.

To watch over all of them.

In this cold. In this darkness. I was reminded.

…

“Thank you. Really, thank you.”

I can't close my eyes. But I'll dream of good times, thinking of you all.

  
  



End file.
